The Years I Thought I'd Buried

[Intro] I know this feeling… I’ve been here before. I thought I’d buried it. I thought I’d closed that door. [Verse 1] Childhood years, a house full of pain, Things I saw I still can’t explain. Love was shouting, cheating and lies, Learning too young to read angry eyes. Broken dishes across the floor, No cups left in the cupboard anymore. Shards of glass in the morning light, Something so broken had never shone so bright. [Pre-Chorus] I learned to hide, I learned to wait, To hear the anger before it came. A little girl who couldn’t sleep, With far too many things to keep. [Chorus] I buried those years beneath the ground, Built myself up when no one was around. Every crack I thought had healed, Every wound I thought was sealed. Now I can feel them opening wide, All those years I kept inside. I fought so hard to leave that place, Now I’m terrified of losing my way. [Verse 2] Sleepless nights and another goodbye, Break-ins, gunshots, nowhere to hide. Friends who betrayed me, names they would call, Schoolyard cruelty, no one to tell at all. Pills and doctors, another long night, Trying to find some way to feel alright. There were days I wanted life to end, And nights I never thought I’d see again. [Pre-Chorus] But somehow time kept moving on, The frightened little girl grew strong. I found a life beyond those years, And learned to live without those fears. [Chorus] I buried those years beneath the ground, Built myself up when no one was around. Every crack I thought had healed, Every wound I thought was sealed. Now I can feel them opening wide, All those years I kept inside. I fought so hard to leave that place, Now I’m terrified of losing my way. [Bridge] But this time… There’s no screaming. No broken glass upon the floor. No frightened child hiding Behind a bedroom door. This time… I made the mistakes. This time… I caused the tears. And guilt has brought me face to face With everything I feared. I can’t undo the hurt I’ve caused. Can’t turn the hands of time. And every time I close my eyes… The blame is always mine. [Build] I spent so long rebuilding me… Becoming who I hoped I’d be. And now I feel the walls give way… PLEASE DON’T LET ME GO BACK TO THAT PLACE! [Final Chorus] I BURIED THOSE YEARS BENEATH THE GROUND! I FOUGHT MY WAY OUT WITHOUT A SOUND! I WAS A CHILD! I HAD NO CHOICE! IT TOOK ME YEARS TO FIND MY VOICE! I KNOW I’VE MADE MISTAKES! I KNOW I’VE CAUSED SOME PAIN! BUT DOES THAT MEAN I HAVE TO LOSE EVERYTHING I’VE GAINED? I FOUGHT MY WAY OUT! I LEARNED TO SURVIVE! I’M SCARED OF THE DARKNESS… BUT I’M STILL ALIVE! [Outro] I thought I’d buried those years. I thought I’d finally healed. I never thought… I’d have to fight this again.